How to Get Back in Her Good Graces
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Fact: You will mess up in some way in a relationship
Fiction: Your relationship will end just because you messed up.
Mistakes are part of life -- they happen -- and you simply made a mistake. But your relationship error has put you in the proverbial doghouse once again and maybe you even fear that this time really could be end of your relationship. She is ignoring your phone calls, texts and emails. Hopefully you've learned from this mistake so you won't have to repeat it and endure this whole process again, but for now the real question remains: how can you remedy your current situation and get back in her good graces?
First up, you need to accept the reality that some relationships are just not meant to be. Perhaps you don't need to get back in her good graces because perhaps you simply shouldn't be together in a relationship. If you find that everything you do is a mistake, then take heed; you are with an overly 'picky' and, perhaps, obsessive-compulsive partner. You may need to consider "flying the coupe!" Why spend the emotional energy if it just simply doesn't work? On the other hand, if you and your partner have a great relationship and you simply did something foolish to rock that foundation then there are plenty of things you can do to get back in her good graces. Here are ten things you can do to help you soothe your way back in:
Identify the Issue
What exactly did you do? Do you even know? Before you can even begin to remedy the situation you need to understand exactly what you did and why it was/is such an issue. This is a bit of a challenge because most men and women think about situations differently. Remember, women are emotionally connected so there is a good chance that you plucked an emotional chord.
Never Tell Her She Shouldn't Feel That Way
In general, you should never tell anyone not to feel the way they do. Feelings are very individualized and, whether you like it or not, they are as real for your partner just as they are for you. Her feelings are her feelings and they are what they are. Accept it.
Acknowledge Your Mistake
After you have understood what you have done and come to understand her feelings, it's time for you to let her know that you know you screwed up. Women love acknowledgement. Be sincere and endearing. Let her know that you know you hurt her feelings and that you are really sorry. You may hear a stereotypical "do you even know what you did?" This is why identifying and understanding the issue is so important. She is testing you to make sure you know exactly what it was that hurt her so you don't do it again. Failing this test will not play well for you.
It is an emotional process that builds connections and relationships between partners. Perceiving and relating to your partners feelings and needs without the need to blame or excuse yourself will help establish and rebuild that connection. Try to put the 'shoe on the other foot' and feel her pain.
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