How to Fail at Working Out
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Most of us understand the benefits of staying health and the only challenges many of us face are finding permanent exercise habits that last. In general, workout routines are not that complicated yet there are still plenty of men who consistently find new and innovative ways to fail at working out. They show up, seemingly go through the motions and yet accomplish nothing. They haven't overexerted themselves, pulled muscles or improperly performed the exercises. No, instead they have found cleaver and creative ways to cut corners and cheat themselves out of a great workout. Here are some of the most common methods that men have used to self-sabotage their own routines.
Lounging in the Locker Room
Inhaling sweat stench, sitting wide-legged in towels and watching old men powder themselves is not a productive use of your time. Perhaps some men just like having a locker combination to remind them of their high school days...when they were actually fit. While this may not be the best usage of your time, you can take at least take solace in knowing that you are getting your money's worth on the locker fees.
Wearing Fancy Gear
Most of us work out in fraying t-shirts commemorating forgettable events from the 90s and high school soccer shorts from brands that quite possibly don't exist anymore. But some men wouldn't deign to lift a barbell until they've put on their sweat-proof sleeveless T-shirt, compression shorts with embedded muscle warmers and kangaroo leather shoes with a pedometer that wirelessly syncs to their laptops. You can't have a good workout if you're worried about getting your gear wet. You're not a robot and it's not a fashion show. Unless you're at the gym to meet someone, stop treating the rubber mats like a catwalk.
Turning Warm-up into Workout
There are plenty of yutzs out there who are way too into stretching. Not intense Pilates stretches, just 25 degree leans to either side while watching the gym TV. In between these stretches, and during commercial breaks, you can spot them meticulously towelling off and refreshing with massive slugs from their water bottles. Finally "loose" after a half hour, they hit the elliptical machines for about 7 minutes before calling it a day. Simply being at the gym for a long time does not equate to working out for a long time. If your warm-up time exceeds your workout time, you haven't really worked out.
Going to 'Class'
Do you really need to dance to get thin? Or Strip-ercise? Or Step-ercise? Or any ____-ercise that isn't good old-fashioned EXercise? Are you seriously only motivated to sweat if some mic'ed-up hardbody is yelling at you? If you cannot find internal motivation to seek out the fitness results you want you will likely never meet your fitness goals.
Using a Smartphone as Your Music Source
You might start your jog on the treadmill listening to an inspirational mix on your smartphone at a respectable 6.5 mph clip. But shortly after you will probably get a phone call or text and so you might slow down to 6.0 to read it. Your friends are making evening plans so you bring it down to 5.0 to respond. You punch it further down to 4.0 so you can call to suggest a better location. Eventually, you're chugging along at a brisk 2.0 mph pace checking email and messaging friends. Your endurance may not be getter any stronger but at least your vocab is.
Only Working Out Vanity Parts
Women don't comment on brachioradiali and men don't compare rhomboids with envy. No, people only seem to care about the sexy muscles; biceps, pectorals and abs mainly. This has created a culture of people who only perform workouts that make these sexy parts sexier. The fact is, however, that there's nothing sexy about asymmetry or disproportional bodies that look as if they might topple over. Nobody's legs should bear resemblance to toothpicks shoved into the bottom of an apple.
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